Week 4 Finding You

So I'm not totally thrilled with this layout. I'm having a hard time giving myself permission to put itout there even though I'm unhappy with the results. But this particular assignment was important for me to get done. I'm using these assignments as a tool to accomplish a goal for myself. I'm using the magic that can be created by visualization, and by putting so much of my pure, unadulterated energy into the project. I'm trying to conjure up that building!
The papers I used were these wonderful, mideval style set from Die Cuts With a View - the "Once Upon A Time" series. I got the mat stack, and it's full of these lush, classical patterns, with just a hint of glitter in there. Also, I used the good old stand by: Making Memories rub-on letters. I don't know what I'd ever do without them.
So hopefully I can meneuver myself around all those things that stand in my way of acquiring my father's building. I want it so bad it keeps me up at night, with dreams of what it would be like if it were mine...

I Love ATCs

Week 3 fINDING yOU

This is my week 3's assignment for Finding You. This one was intense for me because I'm putting it all there in black and white - what I want and what I need to do to get it. But I actually have several factors working against me. Which raises the question:


what if I fail??

There's so much riding on this particular "want" of mine - the well being of my kids for one, and my future financial stability (or lack thereof) for two...I decided to use the "Follow Your Muse" title, because as I look back on my life, I see that all the major decisions I have made from MY GUT - you know those choices that come from within somewhere - they have been the most successful ones. When I decide to do something "because" - like a whim but not really - like my inner voice is speaking to me. Those are the good ones. Maybe it's my MUSE telling me to do these things. If that's the case, then my muse is a very smart person. I think I'll trust her.

Week 2 Finding YOU

This is my week 2's assignment for the Finding You workshop. A very thought provoking question ; about where and what do I want in the near future. As I pondered it, I kept going back to the needs of my family - even the things that seemed personal in nature were actually related to the future and security of my family.

It's funny, when we become parents - we cease to be the center of the universe - because our children take that place! The most important thing for me - is that I long for independence and financial security. I want to open my own business - to teach my kids that they can do anything they want, that they can do what they love for a living. To be one's own boss is the most liberating thing - so empowering. That is my dream - to have my business, to support us with it. That's all I want...

Fun with alcohol inks and transparency!

Isn't this one a dandy? I surprised myself with the wonderful results. And as usual with my nicest stuff, I gave it away...

Today would have been my father's 64th birthday. I cried every time I thought of it, a whole bunch of times throughout the day. Just how long is this mourning process supposed to last? It's been well over a year and still I feel so raw. I miss him so much - maybe even more than I did a year ago. And what's up with the thing how we tend to cloud reality by only remembering the greatest stuff about a loved one after they die, and forget all the painful parts? Me and my Dad had far from a perfect father-daughter relationship. But now that he's dead, all I can think of is how great he was. Well, he was great - an amazing man under anyone's standards. But he wasn't the best dad in the world, and actually he did a lot of crappy things to me over the years. I guess maybe reality will set in eventually...

Week One, Finding You

This is my first assignment for the Finding You workshop.

Finding You

I'm taking this online workshop, called Finding You. So I'll use my blog here to post my assignments. Hopefully that will get me back in the swing of things and doing some regular blogging. Lord knows I've been such a slacker with the whole thing!

Kindred Spirits

This layout is for a challenge I offered for the Outlaw Scrappers Dec-Jan challenge. We're to do something about whom or what inspires us...and once again I arrived at my Grandma Cerretani, my Mom's Mom. She's influenced my life so very much. I've always been so proud to have ingherited her looks, to an extent, as well as a lot of her presence and attitude - which were very intense and commanding. Very alpha, anyways. Grandma was amazing, and I can only hope to accomplish a fraction of what she did in her lifetime. She garnered so much respect from everyone in the family...she was definitely the matriarch, and someone who I've modled myse;f after. Almost not a day goes by that I don't think of her, or what she taught me, or how she's effected the person I have become - or at least hope to...

The V.I.P.

So I have returned from my hiatus. I've been overwhelmed by everything...holidays...c-section...still moving in to the new place. I think I'll be "moving in" for quite a while, at least for the rest of the Winter. Utter chaos in parts of the house, so much that I have to ignore these places, or I might lose it all together. But I've got this new entity in the family to focus on...she is wonderfully sweet and reminds me of my younger sister Annie.

How do I prioritize???

Every day or two I click on my blog here and just look at it, somehow expecting that a new post has made it up there...I've been amidst a move, my studio is all in boxes, and my desk consists of this laptop sitting on a couple of boxes with another box as a chair. There are so many projects around this new house that require my attention - like getting the kitchen functional, and the kids' rooms unpacked so they have a place to go out of our way. But all I want to do is play with my stuff. There's a ton of boxes of art supplies I haven't seen since I packed them a year ago, and I'm dying to dive into them. There are some scrapbook challenges I want to participate in. Outlaw Scrappers has been suffering my neglect lately. And I'm in the middle of how many projects...Everything is so chaotic right now, it feels as though nothing will be working smoothly any time soon. And every time a deadline passes, I feel remorse for not getting it done, even though there isn't anything compelling me to do it except me, myself, and I. The world will go on just fine without me finishing this or that layout on time. There will be plenty of other contests, challenges, DT calls - I'll still be able to put myself out there after my work here at gome is finished - but still I feel compelled...

And then what happens if I happen to go into labor in the middle of all this? I certainly do not have time for any of that at the moment!

Yes, a new entity in the family. All of our roles in the home will be forever shifted when she is born. My focus will change to seeing to this newborn child who will show up amongst all the goings on here at home. What ever shall I do, when there is already not enough time in the day? I dread I'll never really feel rested in the morning when I arise. And that being said, here I sit in the corner, at my computer, clicking away as much as I can before I'm found out and have to get back to work!

Mary's Words

Mary's Words
Here is my layout for the latest challenge from Beyond Appearances. The challenge is: "I Really Shouldn't..." I thought long and hard about all the things I really shouldn't be doing - and there is a lot to choose from, I tell you that! I didn't want to be negative in this piece, so I came up with the concept that I really should never take anything for granted, namely my family. I of all people know, first hand, that it all could be gone in a moment, just like that. I have experienced the loss of something I cherish, having it slip through my fingers, having to suffer without something that is dear to me in every sense. I have learned that I should never, ever take what I hold dear for granted. The things in life that truly matter must be worked for, and worked to keep. Something like family is a constant responsibility to work at - it just doesn't get there and work smoothly without a lot of commitment and attention, give and take, compromise, and putting others before myself. Having lived with my family scattered about, not all under one roof where they belong - that made me think about all it takes to really make it work. To take for granted that they will always be there, and that we will have a successful home life - that is a very shallow and vain state of mind. I embrace all it takes to make it work, and I wholeheartedly commit myself to having my family be first priority in my life. Everything could so easily be gone in an instant. Therefore I value every moment we have, and am thankful for all of us being together, healthy, and able to experience real unity and love. I thank God every day for the gifts he has given me.

"Here's What I'm Thinking"

Here is a link to an essay I wrote for the National Scrapbooking Association in the nsa voices section that sums up what scrapbooking has done for my life and how it has effected me. I was flattered to be invited to write this, and I put a lot of thought into it, baring some truths about myself that I have previously kept to myself.
http://nsavoices.typepad.com/hwit/2006/10/they_call_me_ta.html

~Beyond Appearances~

~Beyond Appearances~
Here is a link to my layout for the RX challenge:
http://kearymaryswords.blogspot.com
Hopefully I will be more successful here this week than the last timeI tried to link you to my version of the last challenge...I think I suffered some technical difficulties in that department last time!

Just What The Doctor Ordered

Here is a layout I did for a challenge fro Beyond Appearances. The challenge was "RX: what would the doctor prescribe for you?" After much thought, and not wanting to do something that was just a face-value, easy answer to it - I thought about what it was that I might be needing in order to have my life be more of the way I want it to be. Thinking on this took me back to a number of years ago when I was much more carefree and less bogged down with worries and closet skeletons. I remembered back to when I was a brand new mother, completely full of hope for the future, with no fear of anything, I had the world in the palm of my hands. I was in control of my destiny. There was no stopping me. And you could tell this by looking at a photo of myself from back then - I was totally beautiful, seeping self-confidence, oozing with pride, full of creativity and ideas...So much has happened in my life since then. The wind has been knocked out of my sails on more than one occasion, I have been downtrodden at times, suffered judgement, and sacrificed much. -Don't get me wrong - I have also grown leaps and bounds, gained much wisdom and experience, come a million miles, to hell and back, lost and then gained back more that most people ever have in the first place...But I sure would love to have that unstoppable attitude that I once possessed, that sureness, that ultimate confidence...

Art Hurts

Well, I am so late in my pregnancy that I am totally swollen up, and it's causing me to have severe carpal tunnel syndrome in both of my hands. Basically, it pains me to create anything, from typing this blog to doing any of my artwork...But I don't care. I cannot help but spend the precious time every day in my studio that I do. I wouldn't be anywhere close to "sane" if I didn't. Those few hours a day at my desk is what keeps me going, keps me from getting bogged down by the mundane, makes me whole. I am in the process of moving - my house is pretty much all packed - with the exception of my office, which hasn't been touched yet. I can't imagine a day without being able to go in there and see everything, without being able to do any and every kind of project that strikes my fancy. I envision myself, at the very last minute, putting everything in my studio into boxes and rushing it over to the new place and unpacking it all immediately. Never mind my clothes, or the kids' tuff, or the kitchen...it's the essential lifeblood that's really important. I do have my priorities, you know!

Queen of the Outlaw Scrappers

Well, this Outlaw Scrappers thing seems to have some real possibilities. I've got a bunch of members, posted a challenge, added a link or two, and am diving into this thing wholeheartedly. I'm having a blast and really getting in to being a "moderator" - oh boy, the authority of it all...Now my challenge is to find new and exciting way to bring out the diversity of the group. Should be fun, to say the least!
I've been wanting to take my scrapping to a higher level - to make it more a part of mylivelyhood. I've just been chosen for one of my layouts to be published in Legacy Magazine. Been taking a workshop in Adobe Photoshop, which has been very enriching. Started this Yahoo group. Selling my cretions at a local art mercantile. Actually writing lists of projects I feel obligated to make...
And funny, my husband who gives me grief at home over how much time I spend in my studio - when we go out in public, like for instance last night when we went out for dinner with 11 other people, the first thing he did was brag that I'm the queen of scrapbooking! Funny, the positive reinforcement from him comes once removed. But at least I know it's there...

If I could have spent all night at my desk last night, I would have. Darn neeccessity for sleep.

Here's a nice light hearted layout I did as part of a challenge fromn the last online crop at Scrap 4 Life. This is the first one I've ever done like this - with the quote being pretty much the whole design.

All kinds of new stuff...

I've started a Yahoo group: Outlaw Scrappers. I hope I ha ven't gotten in over my head, and I fear I may have. Reading all the fine print akes me realize all that's involved with it. But I was onthis thread at 2Ps, where there were all these women talking about how they didn't fit the "norm" - the conservative craftsy crowd who dominated most scrapbooking sites and communities. There are a lot of us "alternative" types out here. Someone mentioned the idea of "Outlaw Scrappers" and I was immediately intrigued with it, and thought it was just the thing for me. Perfect. So hopefully it will attract some like-minded artists who share common thoughts and viewpoints - hopefully it will bring out some newly inspired art, different, cutting edge...all that. Anyone reading this who might want to check it out - go to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/outlawscrappers. Tomorrow I'll think of something cool to put up for the homepage art.
I just know this is going to take a good bit of my attention. DH is going to hate it, I'm sure of that. He already hates how much time I spend in my studio - no matter how much I explain to him how much I need that time, how much my sanity depends on it...

~Beyond Appearances~

Here is my version of the challenge from Beyond Appearances: "what do you do to relax?" A little late and past the deadline, but still yet, here it is...
~Beyond Appearances~http://www.scrap4life.com/gallery/data/500/medium/Relax.jpg

~Beyond Appearances~

~Beyond Appearances~I loved this challenge

Late Bloomer

I've been at this for a bit, trying to get it figured out, getting a blog going for myself. My feet are swollen and it's past my bedtime, so I don't have any profoundities to convey tonight. One thing though, I must say the "Beyond Appearances" blog I discovered has inspired me to finally get on board with the whole blog thing. Their challenges are very provocative, and make me want to be a part of it so much that I've subjected myself to figuring out all these technicalities in order to participate...It is nice to be a part of things I suppose. Seeing how my online socializing represents the lion's share of my social life. Kind of pthetic, but what can I do - not much at the moment - I am less than 2 months away from giving birth to my third child, less t han 1 month away from moving into a new house, and less than 1 year since my family and I relocated from the west coast to the east coast. A time of transition, as they say. But the concept of an art-based blog appeals to me - before this I envisioned my hypothetical blog as having to contain profound philosophies and ingenious viewpoints on the world - a bit intimidating, and reason enough for me to only daydream about having one and never getting around to setting one up (let alone giving it regular attention). The scrapbook page challenges at Beyond Appearances are unassuming, welcoming, and make me want to set aside my inhibitions and get to work in my office creating new stuff for my book. Too bad it's 10:58pm and as I said my ankles are nonexistant and dh is wondering why I'm not in bd with my feet up so late at night...otherwise I'd be at my desk shuffling through papers and brainstorming. Well, I will give it a go tomorrow, after I get back from class - I'm taking a workshop about learning Adobe Photoshop, a four part thing, very informative. Now all I have to do is get myhands on Adobe Photoshop!

This layout is a little something I put together the other night as I was feeling disgruntled with cartain family situations. I was feeling sarcastic, among other things. This is one of the first scrapbook projects I have done that aren't completely happy and positive. It delves into a new realm for me, a more honest and edgyone, a little more on the dark side...